"Edited to Add"....

This started as a pregnancy blog when I fell pregnant in May 2009 after four years of finding a donor, doing all the counselling / paperwork / tests and trying.

And now, thanks to a 4WD which skidded onto our side of the road, killing our baby daughter at 34w and injuring me, my partner and two of my stepdaughters on 27 December 2009, it has turned into something else. We didn't want this something else, but apparently it is all we've got to go on with.

Thursday, August 20, 2015

The 'why' phase

We’re riding the bike and I point out the Silver Princess gumtree to Ali.

Me: Look bub, can you see the blossom? That’s a Silver Princess like the one S and C gave us for Zainab.

Ali: (thinks for a moment)

Ali: Her died.

Me: Yeah, she did, my love.

Ali: Why?

Me: There was a big car crash and she was in my tummy and she got very hurt, so her body stopped working.

Ali: Why?

Me: Well, it was a big bump, and made the placenta break away – that’s the bit that was sending healthy blood and food and oxygen to her. When she couldn’t get those things, her heart stopped working and that made her body stop working.

Ali: Me in there too – I got bit hurt too?

Me: No my love, you weren’t in my tummy then. You were just a twinkle in my eye then, so you didn’t get hurt. But it’s ok if you feel sad about it.

Ali: I miss her.

Me: Me too, my love, I miss her too.

Ali: Her in my eye.

Me: Oh? (not getting it) Oh! Is she a twinkle in your eye now?

Ali: Yeah.

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