"Edited to Add"....

This started as a pregnancy blog when I fell pregnant in May 2009 after four years of finding a donor, doing all the counselling / paperwork / tests and trying.

And now, thanks to a 4WD which skidded onto our side of the road, killing our baby daughter at 34w and injuring me, my partner and two of my stepdaughters on 27 December 2009, it has turned into something else. We didn't want this something else, but apparently it is all we've got to go on with.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Words for Haloumi

**I'm going to put my aspiring word-smith heart on my sleeve and post something here I wrote for Haloumi. I know amateur poetry can be cringe-worthy, if you find this so, please be kind!**

Halloumi’s playing knock-knock jokes with me again. Knock knock – Who’s there? Haloumi!

It is feeling summery – even more so that last month. I’m on the train, curving my way up to Newcastle. Late for the colloquium I was planning on attending, but will get there nonetheless. And I find myself writing words for Haloumi in the margins of a paper I’m reading:

Promises Made

I will greet you with hands smelling of oranges.
I will kiss your mouth in your sleep.
I will let you surprise me
Over and over again.
I will curse that my hands can’t bat away all the things that will hurt you.
I will remember– despite the shock – that no matter how many times I have dreamt you
You are your very own dream
From your very own flickering head.

I will breathe you in and mingle you with my familiar cells.
I will breathe you out and let you mingle amongst the hard and soft particles of the air.
I will bring you home,
And I will open the door.

And as much as I delight
In the still unreal thought
of seeing the light bounce from your face onto mine
I will not hurry you


  1. Thanks for posting your sweet poem for Haloumi. It beautifully describes your feelings.