"Edited to Add"....

This started as a pregnancy blog when I fell pregnant in May 2009 after four years of finding a donor, doing all the counselling / paperwork / tests and trying.

And now, thanks to a 4WD which skidded onto our side of the road, killing our baby daughter at 34w and injuring me, my partner and two of my stepdaughters on 27 December 2009, it has turned into something else. We didn't want this something else, but apparently it is all we've got to go on with.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009


What is making me queasy at the moment:

- the huge pile of exam marking in front of me - bleugh!

- wierd plastic smells - shops seem to be full of these.

- twee comments in the "what to expect" book such as "a wrinkly baby is cute, a wrinkly mummy, not so much" - urrr! (in the section on which beauty treatments / botox injections not to have while you are pregnant - at this point I ran screaming back to Kaz Cooke, even if it is an old edition with the pages falling out)

- not eating anything for more than 10 minutes... and I've gotten sick of my ordinary nibble of choice - dates and almonds, so am desperately searching about for suitable replacements. Pistacios - good, but too salty, dried cranberries - good but too sweet (why would anyone think you needed to add sugar to cranberries), kiwi fruit - in dwindling supply at our house.

- the thought of the conference paper I have to deliver in 5 days which is still in very messy shape (and will stay that way until pile of exams is cleared). eeek

Image: Alexei Jawlensky: Girl with the green face, Chicago Art Institute, photo from here

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