"Edited to Add"....

This started as a pregnancy blog when I fell pregnant in May 2009 after four years of finding a donor, doing all the counselling / paperwork / tests and trying.

And now, thanks to a 4WD which skidded onto our side of the road, killing our baby daughter at 34w and injuring me, my partner and two of my stepdaughters on 27 December 2009, it has turned into something else. We didn't want this something else, but apparently it is all we've got to go on with.

Monday, March 7, 2011

You guessed it...

Inconclusive!

Yes, there is a lovely little fetal sac. (hurrah!)
Yes, it is in the uterus, where it should be. (whoo hoo!)
Can we see a fetal pole / fetus / heart beat / tiny spongebob squarepants? Um... no.

According to our doctor (who did the scan - yay for not having to wait for the technician to send results through) this isn't as bad news as it could be, because it may just be consistent with our little speck being a very slow starter. It is still very early days (6w3d, or 4w3d from egg pick up), so this kind of thing only *just* becomes visible around now. Apparently sometimes embryos 'drop a few cells' before implanting, and that can set them back a few days - but nonetheless grow to become lovely healthy babies. Or sometimes not. Who knows. who knows!

What now? Stay tuned, because we have to go back for another scan, same time, same bat channel next week. Gah! As El Prima said, we're getting the good news one tiny spoonful at a time. Slightly frustrating, but still better than the bad news we were fearing.

Thanks so much for all your good wishes. I hope this little speck realises that it has an international cheering squad!!
Posted by Hanen at 6:22 PM
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27 comments:

  1. AnonymousMarch 7, 2011 at 6:36 PM

    This is good news! The bean is still growing and moving along...he/she is just a slow, chill kind of baby =) I know the waiting has to making you crazy, but try to live in the moment...you are pregnant!! Hoping for continuing good news!!

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  2. briannaMarch 7, 2011 at 7:21 PM

    Wow. This is probably so crazy-making for you guys. I really like El Prima's thought. A spoonful of good news at a time. I'll be hoping and keeping my fingers crossed that the spoonfuls keep coming.

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  3. AnonymousMarch 7, 2011 at 7:27 PM

    You are sounding remarkably sane! sending healthy, growing thoughts.

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  4. HanenMarch 7, 2011 at 7:30 PM

    Thanks anonymous! Am trying to focus on this moment - it is a lovely moment to have, even if it isn't giving us too many clues about the future. I like the idea of a chilled out babe too. Have been watching this (http://embryology.med.unsw.edu.au/Movies/larsen/exoves.mov) and imagining / hoping what might be happening.

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  5. claireMarch 7, 2011 at 7:42 PM

    One small piece of good news at a time.... another week of positive thinking coming your way!!

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  6. Ya ChunMarch 7, 2011 at 7:56 PM

    that scanner needs a magnifying glass!

    fingers crossed for next week!

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  7. MarissaMarch 7, 2011 at 8:20 PM

    I hope for good news in the future for you!!

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  8. Beanie GMarch 7, 2011 at 8:56 PM

    Oh thinking of you so much. I know I've said it before, but have you checked out Journey Toward our Baby blog.....they were in the exact same situation as yours (from HCG levels through to this scan). They are awaiting the birth of their healthy bubba!!! Everything crossed that your PBL continues to defy the odds :) Here is their link incase you haven't been there yet. Definately worth it to keep your positive engery up : ) http://journeytowardsourbaby.wordpress.com/journey-so-far/

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  9. JeanetteMarch 8, 2011 at 12:00 AM

    My goodness this ittle one is keeping you on your toes. Keep calm , I'm still hoping hoping hoping for you. x

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  10. LoralouMarch 8, 2011 at 12:27 AM

    Positive energy headed your way!

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  11. LittleWandererMarch 8, 2011 at 1:45 AM

    good luck, good luck xxxx

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  12. nubreyMarch 8, 2011 at 2:22 AM

    ai ai ai. - well done again and heres to next tuesday! great news that its nicely implanted and in a good place....phew.
    x

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  13. NMarch 8, 2011 at 4:57 AM

    Ugh - limbo! Hoping you're out of limbo (and on to "officially pregnant") next week! Also, I am so so SOOO glad that it was in the right place and you don't have to worry about an ectopic.

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  14. KristinMarch 8, 2011 at 5:19 AM

    I have a few good friends who had successful pregnancies start exactly like this. That said, it still sucks to be in limbo and not have a definitive answer.

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  15. Kelly JeanMarch 8, 2011 at 7:00 AM

    Grow, baby, grow!!!

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  16. SchroedingerMarch 8, 2011 at 7:15 AM

    Oh my goodness, you are weathering this spoonfeeding well! I hope that the next scan reveals a healthy embryo and a beating little heart. The wait is agonizing! I hope you are finding distractions to keep you sane. I'm cheering you from NYC!

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  17. Mom2005March 8, 2011 at 8:48 AM

    Hi Hannen

    I just quit a work meeting to check your blog carefully....jajajaja. This is what counts in life, to be able to read an support friends, to feel people close and to let people feel close. I was thinking on you last night and I thought that this was going to happen. Maybe because a friend had a similar experience. I hope that next week you can clearly see a beautiful embryo inside that sac!

    XOXOXO

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  18. E. from Pot o' GoldMarch 8, 2011 at 9:28 AM

    Rollercoaster!!! I love the spongebob squarepants comment! Definitely cheering for the being in that fetal sac from across the world. Grow little baby, grow well. :)

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  19. ArielMarch 8, 2011 at 9:35 AM

    Yes, I'm sending sticky thoughts from Idaho:)Grow, baby, grow!

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  20. CJMarch 8, 2011 at 9:52 AM

    I hope you get through the week in one piece! Keeping my fingers crossed for you! Woo hoo!

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  21. Catherine WMarch 8, 2011 at 12:45 PM

    Come on little speck, we are all rooting for you! Waiting hopefully for the next tiny spoonful xo

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  22. JenniMarch 8, 2011 at 12:58 PM

    goodness! the universe isn't making this easy on you, is it? fingers crossed super tight for you!! xo

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  23. LibberalMarch 8, 2011 at 6:26 PM

    Wow- this one is really testing your patience, yes? It's just taking its own sweet time, it looks like. Mine was the same. Low betas, and first u/s revealing only a sac, no yolk- and that was at 5w5d. So looks like we've just got some slow growers on our hands. Good luck in the next week- I'll be thinking of you!

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  24. dotalotMarch 9, 2011 at 3:39 AM

    from little things big things grow, i love that song xxx anne (littleharves)

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  25. JennMarch 9, 2011 at 10:58 AM

    Sheesh, I hope you a have a joyful and definitive answer next week. Still thinking of you and hoping for only good things! xx

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  26. nancyMarch 9, 2011 at 7:16 PM

    Yay! I can't believe how much both of our stories are so similar (I gave you my story a few posts ago) except you had higher betas. And just like you, when my beta finally reached the 1,000 mark, we went in to see a fetal sac, and nothing else. I was just so thrilled to see it in the right place! I am pretty positive you will get to see that flicker of a heartbeat soon. You just wouldn't have doubling betas and a fetal sac in place of things weren't going swimmingly. I can't wait until you get to have that next u/s when you get to finally have that sigh of relief when you can say without abandon, "I'm pregnant!" ~smile~

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  27. HanenMarch 10, 2011 at 3:17 AM

    Thanks so much lovelies for all the encouragement. Beanie G, I was too scared to look at the journey to our babies blog - from their story and Nancys, it sounds like what we're seeing is reasonably consistent with a slow-starting babe. fingers crossed! xxxxx

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