"Edited to Add"....

This started as a pregnancy blog when I fell pregnant in May 2009 after four years of finding a donor, doing all the counselling / paperwork / tests and trying.

And now, thanks to a 4WD which skidded onto our side of the road, killing our baby daughter at 34w and injuring me, my partner and two of my stepdaughters on 27 December 2009, it has turned into something else. We didn't want this something else, but apparently it is all we've got to go on with.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

hey you!

I rang my sister the other day. It went a bit like this:

Me: "blah blah about stuff in my life blah"
Sister: "I know, I've been reading your blog."
Me: "oh - you have? You secret squirrel you! blah blah what a lovely sister you are but how come you never comment blah."

I've had similar conversations with a few other friends. It does feel nice, to know that loved ones are reading, and have a bit of a picture of the multiple roller-coaster-riding life here at chez sesame-seed. It means a huge amount to know that. I won't go all comment-nazi on you, but I've now changed the settings to make it easier for people to comment anonymously if they want to, and thought I would open up this post - if you normally visit quietly, please feel free to stick your head up in the comments and say hello this time. xxxxh


  1. Hej Hannah!
    Love, Ludite (Sweden)

  2. That is sweet-- I am so secretive about my blog only a few IRL people know about it, but it is nice to know that they are reading along occaisonally. I hope that your flowers are continuing to bloom beautifully.

  3. I love to read your blog and am constantly amazed at your courage in the face of all your family has been through. You are an excellent writer. You've made me appreciate my step kids and my little guy (2.5 years) more on a regular basis.

    I don't remember how I stumbled across your site, but I'm glad I did. Thank you for sharing your story with us, and know that I am quietly cheering you on from Wisconsin, USA. ;-)

  4. i'm no secret! and i love your blog. i haven't told any of my real life friends or family about my blog, you are very brave xxx

  5. Hello, I have been reading for a while now. I have let a couple of people have my blog address but not many!

  6. Now I'm wishing I had one of them fancy blogs so I could reply to each comment in a new little thread. But I'm not quite that technical, so here goes!

    @Luddite - yay! Thanks hon - glad to know the anonymous thingy works. xxh

    @schroedinger - hello! It is such a tricky thing. I initially meant this to be more of a 'public' blog to keep interstate family and friends updated on the pregnancy, but I couldn't help myself being pretty candid here - once I felt safe that my dad didn't like the idea and wasn't reading it. And yes, thanks - the camelias are just finishing, but now the blossom has started. xxh

    @ Melissa - thanks so much - and kudos to a fellow stepmama - I don't really write all that much about it, but it is a tricky thing sometimes. Yay Wisconsin! xxxh

    @ Anne - thanks darling! Don't know whether it was brave or silly to tell them - I had assumed they weren't really reading anyway, but now I'm not so sure. xxxh

    @ Loralou - hello & thanks for popping your head in. Your Charlie is lovely xxh

  7. Sisters never comment. Everyone knows that. But at my house, sister is the only one IRL who is allowed inside.

  8. Yeah, what is it with sisters? My sisters occasionally read my blog, but rarely comment. It always amazes me when someone from real life talks about something in my blog, and I had no idea they were reading...

  9. I've been reading ever since the Baybeasts ladies linked to your blog. Your writing is beautiful and your courage and resiliance is a real inspiration.

  10. Your blog is a source of great reading. I admire your strength and wish you and your family much happiness.

  11. Just poking my head back in. Sending you hugs from California. :)

  12. Roccie & E - I had no idea this was a known sister phenomenon. I guess it is that sibling "just seeing how you are" thing. I like that. But sometimes surprising.

    Francesca - thanks so much. Sometimes I feel about as resilient as soggy weetbix. But we're still here - mostly because of luck and biology rather than courage, but I've learned not to take those two for granted. xxh

    Anonymous - Thank you for the beautiful wishes - same for you too xxh

    Chris - hiya :) Hugs back for you too xxh

  13. Late seeing this post but I am one of the quiet readers. Hi :)

  14. Hi there - I am reading along too - Donna Campbell passed on your blog... And I don't think I have ever posted. Lots of love and healing to you all.

  15. Hi Jill - thanks so much. Love the photos of your dog, xxxh

    Hi Claire - good on Dons! please give her my love. Thanks for being here xxxh