"Edited to Add"....

This started as a pregnancy blog when I fell pregnant in May 2009 after four years of finding a donor, doing all the counselling / paperwork / tests and trying.

And now, thanks to a 4WD which skidded onto our side of the road, killing our baby daughter at 34w and injuring me, my partner and two of my stepdaughters on 27 December 2009, it has turned into something else. We didn't want this something else, but apparently it is all we've got to go on with.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011


The plan was, that if my period hadn't showed up by friday, then we'd test again first thing friday morning. But looks like we won't have to waste another test - I've had some bleeding today, more than just spotting, so I reckon we're out of the race. Gah. I'm kind of numb about it - I got in early and did my crying and gnashing of teeth on Tuesday. Now I just feel silly for believing that such a tiny thing could actually turn into a baby. (of course they often do, just not in this case)

Thanks so much for all the lovely words of encouragement - it certainly got me through Tuesday and Wednesday! xxxh


  1. I'm going to join sorenson. Bugger.
    I'm so sorry my dear. xo

  2. so sorry hanen, sending loads of love xxx

  3. so sad. i'm so sorry. will you test anyway? the line from the nurses here in the states is that even if you bleed w/ in the tww you are to stay on your meds and go in for a blood test, because the fertility drugs can do do wacky stuff. i don't know, maybe that's false hope, but that's what they tell us here anyway. sending love. xo

  4. Sorry Hanen. Bleeding can go both ways. I hope there's still a chance.
    Regardless, I am thinking of you.

  5. Hugs and good thoughts from across the world. Hoping that support surrounds and envelops you.

  6. (((((((HUGS)))))))
    crappity crap. REALLY sorry it didn't work. May your snowbabies make it happen xoxoxoxo

  7. I bled and was pregnant once. Admittedly with Freddie, but he went to term.

    But you probably know the fat lady is clearing her throat, I think we just do - and I'm sorry :(

  8. I was going to say you shouldn't feel silly for thinking something so small could turn into a baby, however I've thought that so many millions of times it would be rather hypocritical. I hope you're doing OK and that your bub is one of your snowflakes.

  9. xxxxxxx

    Jenni - yes, our clinic insists on a blood test anyway because some women bleed even if they are pregnant. Blood test was scheduled for monday, but I convinced them to bring it forward to tomorrow.

    I didn't take the crinone last night (long story) - but then have read a bit about it this morning and took last night's dose this morning, as I really still have no idea what is happening, and I don't want to stuff it up if there is something happening. blerg.

  10. Hanen

    I am sorry. Sending you love and hugs. Keep the spirit up.

  11. Crap Hanen, I'm sorry. I hope you're feeling a little better today..

  12. dammit, hanen, I'm so sorry. sending you love and light.